


Making Partner

by K_Trevelyan



Series: The Legal Universe [1]
Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect Trilogy, Mass Effect: Andromeda
Genre: Lawyers AU, London, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-30
Updated: 2018-12-31
Packaged: 2019-06-18 14:14:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15487650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/K_Trevelyan/pseuds/K_Trevelyan
Summary: At Normandy International, one of the most prestigious law firms in London, they played by the rules. That's why Kaidan Alenko took his job there, and that's why he's been there for so long. That, and a dreamy lawyer from the top floor always catches his eye in the lobby.Kaidan is brought into a major case for his regular client, Alliance Systems. The team that he's assigned to is full of surprises, leading him to reinvent his life, and the way he does his job.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I know I'm starting this before capping off my other ones, but I just got this idea and had to roll with it. Hope you all like it.

Kaidan huffed into his now-cold latte. It was mid week in the city and his briefcase was feeling overly heavy in his hand. When he went to law school, he never thought that he’d end up working for one of the most prestigious law firms in the United Kingdom, and he also didn’t expect to be representing a global arms company like Alliance Systems. Every day he climbed the stairs to the overly tall revolving doors to the Normandy building, and reality would hit him at 1000 miles per hour, always threatening to knock the wind out of his chest. The aptly named building was one of those shiny new all-glass skyscrapers that were going up all over the world, inside it housed Normandy International law firm. He knew as soon as he’d finished his first year at college that this was the firm he’d wanted to work for. They always prided themselves on being the seekers of truth, even if it meant sending two of their lawyers up against each other to make sure that the ultimate outcome of any suit was fair, and well fought justice. He’d gotten pretty good at getting his empty cups into the bin without stopping on the way to the elevator, and today was no different; yet today, like most days, he’d stop at the sight of the guy in the red pinstripe suit. It wasn’t strange for Kaidan to see him in the lobby, always the same guy, wearing the same suit, talking to broadly the same people. Today, the man was in a seemingly intense conversation with David Anderson, the Managing Partner of Normandy International. 

Kaidan snorted at himself when he realised that he’d noticed pinstripe-guy before his own boss. Pinstripe guy was, of course, John Shepard. He was the among the top five sought after lawyer in the world. He’d worked on human rights cases at the UN, he’d taken down predator multinationals to protect the environment, and of course he represented Normandy in their most high-profile corporate cases. He was everything a lawyer like Kaidan worked to be, and of course the salary of a Senior Partner wasn’t to be sneezed at either. Every time Kaidan found himself staring at the man, there’d be a split second where Shepard would lock eyes with him, and nod his head, and today was no different. Realising he had more important things to do today than stare at his legal idol, he shook his head out of the daydream and continued his journey to his office.

When he finally made it, stopping at nearly every floor on the way up, he slumped into his chair and dragged his hands over his face. Kaidan was from Vancouver, which had a significantly more boring legal atmosphere, but London was never his first choice. New York was the crown jewel of legal practice, but once he realised that the crown was made of blood diamonds, he accepted an associate’s job at Normandy International. That was over 5 years ago now, and he’d never looked back. Now that he was an Associate, he was granted privileges that he’d never even expected, and he also realised that he was twice the lawyer he ever set out to be. Someone he thought didn’t recognise tapped on his door, and handed him a file for a new case. It wasn’t until he realised that it was David Anderson’s personal assistant that his head started reeling. He assumed it had been another employment law case that he was going to have to fight, since most Alliance Systems documents that ended up on his desk were. He was good at those cases, because he could empathise with whoever he was having to slap down, whilst ripping them apart. He’d become their go-to lawyer for most employment cases, which was somewhat a badge of honour. He put off reading the file, partly because he didn’t want to freak himself out over a new style of case, and also because he didn’t want to freak himself out over David Anderson giving him a case directly.

Kaidan soon realised that time was slipping away from him, and being lost in thought wouldn’t get him anywhere. He read every document in the file, and ran through the technicalities of a new case in his head. It was a strange case, and he could only imagine the team he’d be working with. It’d take some preparing to meet the team he’d been assigned to. It seemed that Geth Industries had been caught stealing and utilising some of Alliance’s top secret technology, code-named “Prothean”. It was a multi-million dollar lawsuit that was going to take a team of the firms most successful lawyers, who he was now counting down the minutes until he had to meet in the boardroom. He might even end up working with some of the best Partners the firm had. He picked up his blue hamster shaped stress ball, which had been a gift from his former partner Ashley to prevent him from biting his nails, and began bouncing it off of the vast windows that gave him panoramic views over the city of London. It was considered one of the fiercest battlegrounds in the world, legally speaking. Whoever was going to head up the legal team on this case, they’d have to be a big shot, and nobody on the team could let them down. Considering it was corporate espionage, it could have been Garrus Vakarian, but since he had been let on the case, he doubted the team would be that high up. Just as he was about to leave a fellow associate, by the name of Jenkins, tapped on the inside of his door to drop off his mail. He didn’t really know why he acted as an assistant when he was only a few years behind, but Jenkins kept his phone calls relevant and his mail sorted, not that he couldn’t do it himself. One more glance at the clock told him to head to the meeting, and after a quick check of his teeth in the mirror, he headed towards the lift to meet his new team.

 

~

 

_There’s that guy again._ Shepard was instantly distracted from the conversation with Anderson when Kaidan Alenko walked into the building. It was becoming something of a habit, leaving the building to get coffee just as his fellow lawyer’s impeccably timed lunch break was ending, but who could really blame him? Alenko was one of the firm’s fastest rising stars. Granted, he was nowhere near his own level yet, but with time, he could become known as Normandy International’s second “Spectre” lawyer. He smirked at the thought of his nickname, given to him by a lawyer that described the way he was a force to be feared in the courtroom. Shepard tried to turn back to Anderson, but found that his gaze remained fixed on Kaidan, who was now smirking and shaking his head. The navy blue, slim fit suit that Alenko had picked today hugged every part of his frame perfectly, whilst maintaining perfect modesty. Except of course for Kaidan’s rear, and now as the object of his stare was crossing the lobby to the elevators, he could get a better look. Anderson snapped his fingers in his face then, bringing him back to reality. He didn’t realise how distracted he had been.

“Staring at Alenko again, Shepard?” Anderson was joking with him, but the man was like a father to John, so he operated a strictly honest protocol around him.

“There’s something about him I admire, they say he’s good at what he does. Very easy on the eyes too, the blue looks good on him.” Shepard checked his watch, realising that there probably wouldn’t be enough time to go to the coffee shop he liked and would have to settle for the crappy machine coffee.

“That’s good Shepard, but you can’t get too distracted. You’re going to have to work with him after all.” The Managing Partner took a moment to enjoy Shepard’s dropped jaw before continuing, “I’ve assigned him to the Prothean case with you. You need somebody good, and Alenko is one of the best. Make sure you get your head in the game.” Anderson’s retort made Shepard choke, “John. I’m seriously considering offering him Partnership at this firm.” When John raised his eyebrows, seemingly about to interject, Anderson cut back in, “He’s a damned good lawyer, John. He’s one of Alliance’s favourites. Who knows, maybe you can knock a big win out of the park for Normandy and get cosy at the same time. Just get the job done, I don’t need to remind you what the stakes are here.”

With that, Anderson clapped his hands on John’s shoulders and strode back to the elevator. John couldn’t help but panic a little. David Anderson had always been his mentor, and had helped him climb the ranks of Normandy International as much as he could. John himself started out as a basic kid, fighting for his relevance in whatever foster home he had been sent to when he was young, and finally taking himself onto University, where he went to Oxford. By the time he graduated, he’d landed a job as Anderson’s desk assistant, but David had seen much more in John Shepard than the orphan who got a lucky break. If Anderson thought that Alenko was the best for the job, then that was the end of it, but he still had a sneaking suspicion that his boss was giving this assignment to him to try and improve his mood. The team meeting was in 15 minutes, so he guessed he’d have to find out then. He walked over to the queue for the coffee machine, and begged his head to stay focussed.

 

~

 

When John Shepard strode into the room with Garrus Vakarian at his heels, the hair on the back of Kaidan’s neck stood up. All of a sudden, his mouth was dry, and his brain was blank. This wasn’t what he expected, and he couldn’t deny that he was one hotshot lawyer from a full-scale panic. He saw Shepard’s mouth twitch upwards at him, and in reply Kaidan could only raise one eyebrow. When Shepard looked around at the rest of the room, and with it being empty, Kaidan noticed his frown, and somehow found a voice.

“Is there something wrong?” His query instantly softened Shepard’s face, which helped to settle his stomach, that had quickly found its way into his throat.

Shepard beamed back, “Not at all. Anderson must have picked a smaller team for a reason. Generally means there’s not a lot of research to do, but the case probably needs a few heavy hitters.” Garrus coughed next to Shepard, “Oh, I’m John Shepard and this is my friend G-“

“Garrus Vakarian, I’m a Junior Partner here. I’m also Normandy’s corporate espionage specialist.” Garrus held his hand, which Kaidan quickly stood to shake.

“I know who you are, Shepard. I’ve heard plenty of things about you too Vakarian. You two have made quite a team in the past, which is making me wonder why the hell I’m sat here. I’m only an Associate, and I defend Alliance in Employment more than anything else. I’ve only ever worked on a handful of minor espionage cases, and I didn’t win many o-” Kaidan was cut off by a fourth voice.

“You’re here because Alliance Systems trusts you, and because your Managing Parner does too.” Anderson stood in the doorway of the boardroom, with his hands in his pockets. Kaidan was slightly in awe of how he could command a room, but he couldn’t help but glance at Shepard’s smirk. “Boys, take a seat, I’ll brief you on the case.”

As David Anderson closed the door and a presentation flicked on, all three of them sat down. Kaidan felt Shepard tap his arm, seeing the man’s hand offering his official introduction. He could have sworn that John had winked at him as he took it, but Anderson cleared his throat, and his attention snapped straight back to the case at hand. It was clear to see that Anderson was an incredibly experienced lawyer. His attention to detail, his language, and his stature were all things that were to be admired about the man. Kaidan wished that he could become half as engaging as his boss, and it made his head swim at the thought that he was being personally briefed by one of the most capable lawyers in the city. The investigation centred around a private investigator, SarenArterius, who was suspected of being the one who had stolen the information. Of course, he was on the run, but the evidence that Geth had hired him for espionage was near conclusive. Anderson highlighted that this case was as good as closed, and that a settlement would usually be reached. That’s when the briefing became interesting.

“Alliance Systems wants to use this opportunity to highlight the danger that Geth Industries posed to the world, and uncover even more of their crimes that have been suspected for a while. An espionage case such as this was the perfect excuse to ask pointed questions, and to look into different laws to get the truth out. This, as I’m sure all three of you have gathered, is not the full team. Ashley Williams, one of our closing lawyers will fight the regular espionage case whilst you look at the evidence and see if there’s anything else. By anything else, I would like you to see if they are developing a sentient AI technology.” Kaidan could almost feel the cogs of his brain work on what Anderson was suggesting. “There’s also the fact that Geth are refusing any settlement that we’ve given them so far. They know that if this case goes to trial, it could last months which would damage both companies equally, and drain our resources. This is why our team is small, but made up of the best. They’re up to something and we need to figure out what that is.” Anderson excused himself after that, passing over some more papers to each of the lawyers sat in the room.

Kaidan let out all of the air in his lungs, unaware that he was holding his breath. This was a case that would likely make or break his career. The complexities of this technology made it even worse. He couldn’t really understand the ups and downs of it, let alone how he was going to find evidence of AI in a sea of already incriminating evidence. When he looked up, he and Shepard were alone in the room, which make his head spin even more. He stared down at the pages again, desperately trying to figure out something that he could say without sounding stupid, when he saw it.

“There.” Kaidan’s finger landed on the page that detailed recent transactions by Geth Industries. “Nobody needs a supercomputer that big, let alone four of them.” Kaidan looked at the rest of the sheets of paper clicking his tongue the entire time. “If I understand it correctly the Prothean family of technology could create some kind of… brain link between a user and the computers. At least that’s what I learned about it in a case where one of the scientists was laid off for selling company secrets. These computers have been covered up under the ruse of a server change, they’ve bought three extra computers. They’re not just stealing the Prothean technology, they’re developing something big with it. It doesn’t prove that they’re making AIs, it just means they’ve acquired some big fish to put in their already gigantic tank.”

“Fish analogies, I like it.” Kaidan definitely wasn’t mistaken about the wink that time, “Now we have to figure out how we get them to admit it in court.” Shepard leant down to read the list of expenses that was directly next to Kaidan. Kaidan had to shift his tie to check he wasn’t sweating too much. “That’s our first lead, but if they deflect the questions we’re going to need more leads. Geth Industries seem to be willing to destroy their own company to fight Alliance.”

Kaidan was acutely aware that he was holding his breath again, he tried to speak to let the air out slowly but all that he achieved was talking really fast, “You’re the Spectre. If anyone can find all of the leads, you can.” Garrus groaned at the mention of Shepard’s nickname.

“I’m bored of Geth Industries.” Shepard’s declared, which caught Kaidan off guard, “We’re going for a drink.”

Without saying a word, and with a simple nod, Kaidan shuffled his papers into his briefcase and followed Shepard out of the door. Garrus called after them, saying he had to take a rain-check, and then it hit Kaidan. He’d gone from the chief paper pushing lawyer to unwitting bigshot in less than a day, and he had to admit to himself that he was feeling a little woozy. His brain was so lost in thought about working with John Shepard, and the case at hand that he almost forgot that he had company. When he looked at his co-worker, he could tell that John was a little tense. He’d heard stories about not liking people being on the case, and he hoped to god that he wasn’t going to fall into that trap.

 

~

 

The bar was John’s favourite, which meant that they could get a booth away from the noise of the main bar. Shepard had been talking to Kaidan about himself and work for more than 30 minutes now, and he was starting to get a little bit frustrated with himself. It had been friendly, of course, and he’d told more than his share of embarrassing stories, but he was frustrated none-the-less. He was about to start his third whiskey, and he could already feel the dull buzz in his ear. He promised himself he’d allow some… exploratory flirting with Kaidan, just to see if he stood a chance, but so far he’d chickened out of every chance he’d had. He was sat opposite a man who was possibly the most beautiful man in the London legal world, and he couldn’t even muster a compliment. When he scooted back into the booth, he handed Kaidan his third lager, deciding that it was now or never.

“I’ve been wondering… is it me that you stare at from half-way across the lobby, or is it my suit?” Shepard grinned as his sudden prod caused Kaidan to splutter on his beer. The only reply Kaidan seemed willing to give was a chuckle and a shake of his head. “It’s nothing to be embarrassed about. Maybe I stare back?”

“I’m not embarrassed, I’m just not used to having a beer with people I check out in the lobby.” Kaidan’s slight smirk had John satisfied, but that wasn’t going to stop him from prodding a bit more.

He faked a sigh, “My suit will be so upset when I tell it that I’m the thing that you’re staring at.” He twisted his glass on the table, “You wanna know what I think?”

“Sure, but if you’re wrong you’re paying for these drinks.”

“Deal…” He licked his lips, lowering his voice a little, “I think you’re trying to figure out whether I’m flirting with you for fun, or whether I’m serious about how shit hot you are. I think you’re a little bit intimidated by suddenly working with me, but not enough to force yourself to be **_completely_** professional. I think you don’t give a damn about what suit I wear and you want to know what I think about you.”

Kaidan chuckled again, but this time his cheeks flamed to an intense red, forcing Shepard to make a mental note of how that was going to become his weakness. “Does that mean that I’m paying for the drinks?”

“Kaidan, please. I don’t invite a guy for drinks then make him pay.” John mulled over the nagging feeling in the back of his mind that he needed to come clean with“Okay. Let’s get back to business, and by business I mean work, before I get carried away. You know this is a test right?” Kaidan’s eyebrow raised, but the way he slowly put down his bottle told John that Alenko believed him. “David Anderson is looking for a new Partner for the firm. He thinks you’re it.”

Kaidan blurted back at Shepard, “I don’t have that kind of experience. Or money for that matter.” He finished his beer, and John raised his hand as a waitress passed and brought him another one.“There are dozens of lawyers ahead of me in that race.”

“Maybe, but they’re too ambitious and that means they won’t ever make it.” John was about to continue, but his phone rang. The contact on his screen was his assistant, Joker. “I have to take this. I take it you’re going back to work on some of your smaller cases?” Kaidan nodded to John’s question. “Come up to my office before you leave. I’ll tell Jeff to let you in.” As he slid out of the booth, he placed £60 on the table, knowing that’d fully cover the drinks. As he strode out of the bar, he fought the urge to look back and at that point, he knew he was in trouble.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Welp, I dropped off the face of the earth. Work's been super hectic but I'm really hoping to update this much more often now. I've got the next couple of chapters nearly ready! Hope you all enjoy this one...

Garrus stood at the edge of John Shepard’s office, just inside the door, with a particularly smug look on his face. It was the kind of look that said, ‘ _I know exactly what you’re thinking, and_ ** _you_** _know that_ ** _I_** _know that you’re screwed_.’ Shepard was doing his best to ignore him. It only made Garrus gloat out loud. “So the pretty lawyer you’ve wanted to screw for the past few months is on the same intimate case as you… What a curious coincidence.”

“Fuck off Garrus.” John desperately tried to get his attention back before he threw the pen he was holding at the smirking man at his door. “I’d at least buy him a drink first. Don’t make me sound like some kind of predator.” Shepard wasn’t about to lie to himself. He had a bit of a reputation; or at least he used to. He would jump from one boyfriend to the next, never really sure why it didn’t click. Maybe it was because he never gave it the chance, or maybe he really was just attracted to them for their bodies.

“So you do intend to sleep with him then?” Garrus’ composure was on the brink. He was trying his best to get the rise he enjoyed to see out of his co-worker, but this time Shepard just looked directly at Garrus from behind his desk with his brows furrowed as if he were in deep thought. Garrus’ eyebrow raised as the silence from the other man grew longer. It wasn’t like John Shepard to not know what to say.

“Everything about Kaidan Alenko is extraordinary.” John’s tone was light, almost weak, which wiped the smug look off of Garrus’ face. “I’ve been observing his work for the entire time I’ve known of him. Maybe at first I would have just slept with him - because I’ve seen the way he looks at me, and trust me Vakarian, I could - but not only is he a kick ass lawyer, he has a conscience. He works for Alliance, has the scope to be one of the country’s top corporate lawyers, and still takes pro-bono cases for the little people on the side.” He sat back down. “I want to get to know him more.”

“Well, shit.” Garrus raised a palm to scratch his forehead. “Looks like someone finally got to you.” As he turned around to leave John is peace he shouted over his shoulder, “He’s coming up later right? Kaidan often drinks cocktails with a few girls in the same place that me and Tali drink. You used to be a bar tender, use your imagination. I’ve got work to do. Good luck!”

Shepard just smiled down at his desk. Garrus was a shit, but he always had his back. He’d have to repay him somehow.

 

— — —

 

It turned out that Kaidan didn’t make his way up to Shepard’s office, mainly because it was now 3am, and he was still making sure that all of his older, smaller cases were ready to be closed before he left. He’d taken several moments out just to think. His phone had been ringing so much that he had silenced it, with it being so far out of work hours, nobody except the lawyers on the other side would be calling him, but when John Shepard tapped on his office door with several files in his hand, he looked at the phone to see Shepard’s office was one of the callers.

“Everyone else has gone home, and I really don’t like working alone.” John seemed rather timid compared to his normal self. “Mind if I join you?” He was practically pleading.

Kaidan just nodded with a smile, and got back to reading through some of the details of his cases. Shepard sat opposite him, in one of the chairs on the other side of his desk. Kaidan could see his hands as he wrote notes on what appeared to be an associate’s summary of the cases he was working. He noticed a few things, one was that Shepard was left handed, and the other is that the associate was terrible at summaries. That particular associate probably wouldn’t last much longer at a firm of this prestige. Most people didn’t even complete their first year. Moving back to his own cases he didn’t really know where to start. There were a couple of them where he would never be able to reach a favourable settlement without an overly firm hand, which he absolutely hated doing, he didn’t even realise he was sighing every time, until Shepard queried it.

“Are you going to tell me what’s making you sigh like that? Or can I get back to picking apart this associate’s work **_without_** the distraction?” He didn’t raise his eyes or put his pen down, but he had stopped writing.

“Sorry.” Kaidan shut the file, “I just don’t like being a dick to people and sometimes my job makes me do it.”

John was had started annotating his papers again, but he was still listening. He hummed before he closed his own file, and put it on the pile. He stood and “Drink?”

“It’s past 3am Shepard, where are we going to get a drink?”

“Please Kaidan, my name’s John. You’re on my team now, you’re not on the outside looking in anymore… My place is just round the corner, you can see the whole city from up there.” Shepard held out his hand, but Kaidan just sat there staring at it, until John smirked, “Are you going to take it or not?”

Kaidan took Shepard’s hand, and allowed himself to be led out of his office and into the elevator, where Shepard let his hand go. Kaidan could have sworn that John Shepard was blushing, but he was never able to confirm his suspicions, because as the elevator doors opened on the lower floor, greeting Kaidan with Jenkins’ face. He looked pale, almost like he’d seen a ghost. Kaidan felt himself stiffen at the sight.

“Jenkins? What are you doing here this late?” Kaidan asked with genuine curiosity. He was met with a nervous laughter from his fellow associate.

“Kaidan, what a surprise.” More nervous laughter, it made the hair on the back of Kaidan’s neck stand upright. “I just left my laptop at the office. Had one too many with the boys.”

John’s hand appeared at the base of Kaidan’s back, and he led him out of the elevator. More nervous laughter could be heard as the doors closed behind them. The passive look on Shepard’s face made Kaidan relax a little. Lawyers had all kinds of secrets. Jenkins could be dating one of their co-workers and may have been mere seconds from discovery. He could have just been reamed by a lawyer on the opposing side. There were any number of reasons why he would be jumpy at this time of night. He felt Shepard’s hand drop from his back as they walked through a revolving door to another skyscraper, less than a 5 minute walk from their work, and judging by how long they were in that elevator, John Shepard had one of the most exclusive penthouses in London. Why he’d be brought here, Kaidan would just have to wait and see.

 

— — —

 

Bumping into Jenkins so late didn’t surprise Shepard, but he wasn’t going to let his knowledge of what was happening ruin his night with Kaidan. They’d formally known each other for less than a day, but both he and Kaidan knew that they’d had at least a mutual admiration for some time now.He and Kaidan walked side by side on the pavement, letting the city buzz around them. Shepard loved hearing the background noise of London. The grinding of train wheels on rails, the harsh outbursts of sirens as the emergency services raced across the city, the honking of the famous black cab horns. It made the playful debate about what the best lager was that he and Kaidan were having a little more real.

They began to talk about their favourite things about the city that they had come to call home. Kaidan’s was the art galleries that he could spend hours at and pretend he had any creative skill, and the weird and wonderful side streets that provided anyone who went down them with a snapshot of its history, however turbulent. Shepards was the powerful buildings, Westminster Palace that symbolised the seat of modern democracy, Buckingham Palace that showed the tenacity of the old monarchy, the unending rows of buildings that made up Whitehall and the workings of the British Government. He also loved the parks, and being able to take a walk around some semblance of nature, which provided a paradise inside a concrete jungle; it reminded him that outside of London, there was a whole world that he could see.

Before he knew it, he was unlocking the door at the top of his building and showing Kaidan to the kitchen, and showing him to a bar stool. He raised and eyebrow as he tapped his hands on the bar, “Cocktail?” Kaidan sniggered some kind of snarky reply, but Shepard ignored it and started to choose ingredients for one of his favourite fruity drinks. He added a splash of extra vodka, being pretty mindful that the two of them had be racking their brains over legal technicalities all day, and a strong drink was mandatory after a day like that. One he was sure the simple drink was mixed, he strained it into two martini glasses, pushing one towards Kaidan.

Kaidan eyed the drink with curiosity, “What is it? It smells strong.”

“That’s just the vodka. It’s a Hollywood, but I felt like being classy enough for a martini glass this evening.” He was making fun of himself because of the stunning grin that Kaidan flashed every time his jokes landed. “It’s a bit fruity, but it’s light enough to enjoy after a long day of battling with legal technicalities.” He lifted his glass, a gesture Kaidan responded to in kind. It wasn’t long before there were over a dozen empty glasses on the side, and both of the men were steaming drunk. Shepard realised after the second cocktail that this was probably a bad idea, but he made no effort to stop, Kaidan’s smile was constantly on his face, and now that they’d both undone their ties and a couple of buttons on their shirts. John didn’t really know how to look away.

“So, are you going to tell me how you got into making cocktails, or are you just going to get me even more drunk so you can keep staring at me like you want to tear all of my clothes off.”

John nearly choked on his tequila sunrise at the sudden question, and mumbled a sneaky ‘you have no goddamn idea’ under his breath, but he was almost certain that Kaidan heard it. When the man opposite him tilted his head slightly in curiosity, John decided to answer the question. “Well, I used to work in a bar.” Shepard sat down on the stool next to Kaidan. “I’m sure you’re aware of my background, since everyone at the firm tends to be… but it was one way I paid the bills.” Kaidan seemed interested enough, so he decided to tease him a little. Looking Kaidan straight in the eyes he smirked. “It was one of those bars where the servers wore **_minimal_** clothes.” When the other man broke the eye contact and reached for his drink, he knew his teasing was successful.

John managed to finish the story without making Kaidan choke, which was a feat in itself, but when he went to make another drink he found that his hands wouldn’t work properly, and he dropped his glass, cursing a quiet “Shit”. By the time he turned around and found the right cupboard grab the brush (of course it was next to the bin) Kaidan had already picked up all of the shards of glass, stepping to drop it in the bin. Somehow as they both tried to step apart, they were drawn closer, twisting around until Shepard could feel Kaidan’s breath on his skin.

 

— — —

 

**_Well shit_** was the only thing that Kaidan brought himself to think as he could feel his throat tightening. He couldn’t look away from Shepard’s lips, let alone bring himself to step backward. He felt John’s hands brush his hips, and lightly grab at his shirt. There really was no way out of this, even if he wanted to. He cursed himself for being so drunk and clumsy, if he had more control, he’d be able to know what to do. Instead, he brought his hand up to John’s cheek. They stood there for a moment, fully taking each other in. Kaidan stared right into the blue eyes and froze…

John’s mobile phone ruined everything then. As John broke away and reached for his phone, he could only two things. Firstly, who the **_fuck_** had Taylor Swift as their ringtone; Secondly, WHO AND WHY NOW?! Despite being on the phone, John had linked his hand with Kaidan’s, and was leading him through the hallway. They walked into a large bedroom, but the lack of distinctive features told Kaidan that this was probably the guest room. Kaidan could just about hear the other person talking, but it was a dull buzz in his head thanks to the units of alcohol running through his body. When John hung up the phone with a chuckle, he jumped onto the bed, dragging Kaidan with him.

“What was that all about?” Kaidan was leaning up on his elbow, peering over Shepard as he flat on the bed with his eyes closed.

“It was Garrus. He called me to remind me not to fuck everything up with you by falling back into old habits.” John’s face relaxed into a smile as he silently thanked his best friend, but he opened his eyes to meet Kaidan’s. “I’ve been interested in you for a while, and that doesn’t happen often.”

Alenko tried his best not to let his jaw drop, but he failed.“You and Garrus talked about me?” Kaidan couldn’t hide his blush either, which was probably why John started grinning at him. 

“He was teasing me because he thought I wanted to sleep with you.” Shepard frowned, knowing that didn’t come out quite as planned. “I mean, he thought that I didn’t want anything else. He thought I would use you for sex.”

Kaidan couldn’t help but reply with laughter. Shepard’s admission settled his anxieties about what this was with Shepard, but also gave him a weird image of Garrus being totally baffled by John’s behaviour. His head then screamed at him, trying desperately to stop him from making the conversation deeper than it already was… his head failed. “I’m guessing that since I’ve still got my clothes on that you want this to be… more?”

“Definitely.” John leaned up on his elbows too, mirroring Kaidan’s position, “I’ve watched your work ever since I first saw you look at me in the lobby. I told Garrus that it was months ago, but it was just about a year ago now. I looked up your Normandy International file.” He shifted his position, clearly he felt vulnerable, so Kaidan moved his hand, to rest on top of John’s. Shepard returned the gesture with a smile, before he continued, “To be honest, your record was impressive. You represent Alliance with honour… you never pull a dirty trick in court, and you rarely ever lose. You’re one hell of a lawyer… but then I saw your pro-bono cases in your declarations of interests. You still find time to help the people who could never hire a Normandy International lawyer, even knowing it’d slow your progress to making partner.” Kaidan’s heart was full now. He fell onto his back, unable to hold back how happy he was feeling, until John added, “You’re everything in a lawyer that I’m not.”

“What a load of horse crap.” Kaidan shot an angry expression at Shepard. “You represent genocide victims at the United Nations. You argued against Presidential powers at SCOTUS and won. You refused to support Cerberus Corporation because of its racist owners, despite the zeros on the end of that check.” He was looking directly at Shepard now, who couldn’t look away. “I would never be able to take pro-bono cases like I do if I had your job. You protect people the same way I do - with the law. I won’t hear another word otherwise.”

The two of them just sat in silence after that. They each kicked off their trousers and pulled off each other’s shirts just to get a little bit more comfortable. Kaidan rested his head in the nook between Shepard’s shoulder and his chest, leaning into John’s hand like a cat when he began to play with his hair. It was probably better that they didn’t rush anything, and since they both knew that there was an attraction there, why should they? Kaidan felt his eyelids slowly close as Shepard’s hand came to rest on his hip. He didn’t know it yet, but he was about to have the best night’s sleep in years.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh hi there Ashley.

The blaring sun shining through the windows made Kaidan wince as he woke up. The heavy weight pushing on his chest turning out to be John Shepard’s arm. He took a moment to take in the scene that lay before him. Shepard had stolen every last inch of the duvet in the night, managing to wrap it around his legs in such a way that it looked more like a sleeping bag. _John should count himself lucky that I’m always too hot,_ he thought. Still in half a daze, he looked out at the waking city. John’s apartment was perfect. It was modern, sleek, and had plenty of space - all whilst giving the best views of the city. Kaidan’s humble basement flat in Vauxhall had absolutely nothing on this place, save for maybe its cosy charm.

He could feel the light thumping of a headache at the front of his skull, probably from dehydration after drinking too much alcohol the night before, but instead of getting up in a search for water, Kaidan just stayed there, taking in the room and the man he shared it with. That was until Shepard’s phone sprang to life, someone clearly wanting to speak to him. Just like that, the atmosphere fell to ash, as John rolled over, kicking the duvet onto the floor as he walked out of the room, answering his phone with a “Yes?”. He didn’t even look back at Kaidan. It took Alenko only 30 seconds to go from concerned shock to a quiet bubble of rage. It took him the same amount of time to find his clothes, and even less time to put them on. When he stepped out of the room he could hear Shepard talking, but he didn’t go to say goodbye, he didn’t even look in that direction. He was in the lift, watching the number count down to 0 when he remembered to breathe.

In true Alenko fashion, he counted all of the things he needed to get done in his head. 1. Go to change his suit. 2. Visit a client on the way back to the office. 3. Relax about John Shepard before going back to work on the Geth case. Somehow he doubted that he’d achieve all three of those goals, letting out a heavy sigh as he hopped on the tube. He could feel himself getting all in his head again, It was just like he did when he had to transfer universities when he snapped back at a jibe his professor sent at his best friend. Then he noticed the blind spot in his eye, and the buzzing in his head - definitely a migraine. All of these factors combined wasn’t a pleasant feeling, and only two stations, roughly five minutes, into his tube journey he decided that he’d be working from home today. After all, he had no way of knowing how quickly this migraine would settle in, since he’d probably missed the earliest signs because of the amount of alcohol he’d drunk the night before.

He tapped his oyster out of the station, with a sigh. He could feel his phone begin to catch up with its momentary block from the world above ground. Despite the number of messages that must have been coming through, Kaidan ignores the messages just to call in with Jenkins. He mumbled something mostly coherent about having a migraine, and that he wouldn’t be at work, Jenkins probably said that he’d deal with it as he usually did, before Kaidan hung up the phone. He didn’t even realise that he was stood outside his building until he instinctively searched for his keys. When his hand found nothing but an old receipt and a half-finished packet of mints in his pocket, he groaned out loud. He’d left his keys on the side at John Shepard’s apartment. He stumbled down the steps to his door, and once he’d wobbled to his door he decided that his best bet sliding down and leaning his back against it, with his head in his hands. His temples were starting to really thump with the migraine that had creeped into his vision only minutes before. How quickly he could turn from someone who was totally capable to someone who could barely move frustrated him to unquantifiable levels, but he was forced to snap out of his self-pitying monologue as his attention snapped to someone walking towards him.

 

———

 

When Kaidan didn’t respond to the questions John was asking him, he knew that something had to be wrong. If he felt guilty about the shitty mood that he woke up with, it just became a million times worse seeing Kaidan like this. Anderson had briefed Shepard on Kaidan’s suffering from migraines, just in case there was a need for him to stay away from court, or if he had to leave the office early in crunch talks. He felt even worse because under any normal circumstances, he wouldn’t even be here, but he knows that the information that Garrus had just relayed to him couldn’t be relayed to Kaidan by anyone else.

He slowly bent down, double checking that Kaidan was okay, before pulling the keys he’d found on his counter out of his pocket, and unlocking the door. He bent down again to lift Kaidan into his apartment - he felt like this was more of a marriage ritual than the apology that he needed to tell him, but he had a feeling it’d do. He almost tiptoed through the rooms, whilst the man in his arms clung to his jacket like his life depended on it. He found the bedroom easily enough, and managed to peel Kaidan’s shirt and trousers off before pulling the curtains tight, and tucking him into bed. Shepard went in search of any pain medication that Kaidan might have, finding some strong codeine tablets in a cupboard, he shook a couple of capsules out of the bottle and left them on the bedside cabinet with a glass of water. He turned, knowing he had to go to the office, he decided that he should leave a note just in case Kaidan woke up before he got the chance to come back. He walked back through the rooms in search for something to write on. The first thing he noticed about Kaidan’s flat was that it was almost obsessively tidy. Everything had its own little place, and even the desk, where papers and notes were expected to be strewn all over the place, there was nothing but a neat pile of folders, and a symmetrical web of post-it notes on the wall next to it. Shepard concluded that it was probably Kaidan’s more personal community work. John couldn’t help but feel out of place here, despite what he’d been told the night before.

 

**_“I would never be able to take pro-bono cases like I do if I had your job. You protect people the same way I do - with the law. I won’t hear another word otherwise.”_ **

 

John found a blank post-it, hastily scrawling a message down so that he could get back to dealing with the problem that faced him. For all of his efforts, he was still going to tell Kaidan something that would probably break his heart. He was going to change how he worked at Normandy International - possibly to the point where he wasn’t going to be able to stay. Occurrences, or at least the possibility of occurrences like these are part of the reason that Shepard had kept everyone else at Normandy at arms length, Garrus obviously excluded. He crept back into the room and left his note next to the water he left for Kaidan, who was now sound asleep.

 

**_I’ve got your keys. I’ve got some things to clear up at the office, but I’ll come back once I’m finished, don’t go anywhere._ **

**_\- John_ **

 

He sighed as he strode towards the door. Now he just had to go and face the one part he hated about his job.

 

———

 

Kaidan woke feeling worse than death. Instinctively, his hand reached out to the bedside cabinet, where he found a glass of water and some painkillers. He had no idea how they got there, but then he saw the note. He couldn’t make anything else out on the note besides the name at the bottom. He hummed as he thought of John, before swallowing the pills with a swig of the water. After that he let himself drift in and out of a dozy consciousness, never really being awake, but not ever getting back to sleep either. The pounding in his head turned out to be a more real pounding noise, one that was on his front door. His shaking hands fumbled at glass on his table. This was probably the worst migraine that he’d experienced in years, and the daze he was experiencing made him heave - luckily he managed to keep all of the vomit down even after he stumbled into the bathroom, quickly hanging his head over the bowl of the toilet before letting his body shudder violently with the sickness. It was a small mercy, not throwing up, it meant that his throat wouldn’t burn for the next few days. Nevertheless, he cursed his head for making this happen. It was apparently a side effect of a childhood illness, he was now cursed with these for the rest of his life. He could hear someone shouting at his door, but the ringing in his ears was just too much to make out any actual words. 

He clawed at the walls in desperation; his sheer will to move being the only reason his legs held up. Pretty sure he’d knocked most of his furniture over on his way to the door, he opened it, only for his eyes to be bombarded by light so bright that he slapped one of his hands over it as fast as he could. He felt someone’s hands around him, familiar hands that guided him through his apartment and sat him on his sofa. The room suddenly went dark, probably the result of the familiar person closing the blinds. An ice pack, or something equally as cold was placed on his forehead, and he raised a hand to keep it in place, a reassuring hum from his helper almost made him chuckle. At least whoever had pounded on his door could get some laughs at how disgusting he looked right now. He let his eyes drift around the room, until they landed on the figure sat reading in the other chair. He smiled as his brain finally matched up the face to a name, before whispering for more painkillers. Ashley just nodded, before standing to search for something to relieve Kaidan’s pain.

 

———

 

It must have been nearly eight hours since he was last here, but the fact that he had to explain something awful to Kaidan still had him on edge. It was very out of character for him to feel like that, after all, he had to hold his nerve on a daily basis when protecting the interests of his clients. When John walked up to the door, he could hear the low chatter coming from inside. He had to psych himself up before he unlocked the door and stepped inside. Kaidan had to be awake, which meant that the migraine that had wiped him out so dramatically had subsided.

When he turned into the living room, he saw Ashley Williams sitting on the chair opposite, staring blankly at the television whilst she chatted away to Kaidan, who despite looking like he’d been dragged through hell, held a steaming cup of tea in his hands. He smiled and nodded at Kaidan before Ashley let out a snort.

“What brings the infamous John Shepard to this part of the city?” She almost snarled the words, but Shepard couldn’t figure out why. 

He shrugged the shoulder strap off of his bag, before sitting on a chair on the other side of the room, keeping enough distance from both Kaidan and Ashley. “I wanted to check up on Kaidan, and I need to explain something that happened at the office today.”

Kaidan’s brows furrowed, “Well my painkillers are working wonders for me right now, so you may as well tell me what’s got you in a twist.”

Shepard nodded, before finding a spot on the floor to focus on. He wrung his hands together, preparing himself for what he was about to say. “I’ve been trying to figure out how to say this… please just let me finish before you get angry.” He made the mistake of looking up at Kaidan, who’s frown had now deepened significantly, and now Shepard couldn’t look away. “Normandy International had a mole. We knew this because Geth was making moves on all of the markets that Alliance wanted to expand into… so we left a trap to catch the one responsible. Last night, while we were-“

“Who was it, Shepard?” Ashley interrupted.

Shepard’s mouth hung open for a couple of seconds, before he snapped his eyes away from Kaidan’s. “It was Jenkins. I fired him this afternoon.” Kaidan sat up to speak, but John raised a hand. “We’re not going to seek anything else, against him. The information he sent could usually leave him in prison for a number of years. He was being blackmailed, so… I gave him a small payoff, but I had no choice but to fire him.”

“I understand.” Kaidan murmured, before sitting back in his seat. “At least you were the one to tell me. I can’t believe Jenkins wouldn’t tell me.”

John coughed uncomfortably, “Like I said, he was being blackmailed… They had some kind of dirt on his family. But he made the mistake of not asking for help, I think that he thought he could handle it all on his own… It’s a shame to end a career like that, but it had to be done.”

Ashley stood, looking toward Shepard. Her previously hard ass look had fallen from her face. She gestured for John to follow her, “We should talk, come outside with me. I need a damn cigarette.”

Shepard looked at Kaidan, who nodded. “Go with her, I won’t hear the end of it if you don’t.”

 

———

 

“So you really are the lawyer that everyone in Normandy says you are.” Ashley finally says, blowing her smoke into the dusk. “Kaidan’s a nice guy, John. If I was a better woman I’d still be his girlfriend.” She took another drag, but Shepard could tell she just wanted to talk, and she wanted him to listen. “You did the right thing, telling him in person, getting it out of the way. He needs someone to be straight with him, he can’t work out what you want otherwise.” She flicked the ash from the end of her cigarette, “Shame about Jenkins. He was a good lawyer.”

“He was.” John put his hands in his pockets, partly to shield them from the cold, and also because he didn’t really know what to do with his hands when he wasn’t the one talking. 

  
“If you hurt Kaidan I swear to god I will come down on you like a sack of bricks. Alright?” 

“Understood.” John smiled then. “Does this mean I have Ashley Williams’ blessing to date her ex-boyfriend?” His face was a picture, just a big shit eating grin, he couldn’t help but let out a giggle. What he wasn’t expecting, was for Ashley to laugh too. It was pretty infectious, and they both stood there chuckling at each other for a while.

“It’s been a while Shepard, how’ve you been keeping up?” Ashley threw her first cigarette away, only to pull out another and light it as swiftly as possible.

Shepard hummed, “I’ve been good, ever since the ‘miracle case’ I’ve been dealing with more basic cases, but I’m busy enough.” He gestured towards the cigarette that hung from her hands. “Back on the fags I see. What brought that on?”

“Something about constantly being in the shadow of other mighty lawyers, something about having to constantly smoke with my clients to make myself seem more appealing to them…” Ashley sighed, “Clearly a career move. Nothing to do with my addictive personality at all.” She winked at him then, and they started giggling again. They spent the next ten minutes talking about their respective cases, about their work on chipping away at Geth Industries.

“I can’t believe we’re actually kind of working that case together. Should be fun. Anyway, I should be off now. You should stay, and make sure that Kaidan’s okay.”They walked back through the flat then, and Ashley picked up her coat and kissed Kaidan on the cheek to say goodbye. She told them to call her if they needed anything, before leaving the two of them alone.

As the door closed behind her, Shepard sat down on the same seat as he did before, finding the same spot of the floor to stare at, playing with his hands the same way as before. Kaidan sniggered weakly, but that turned into a frown from the sharp jolt of pain that was sent through his brain by the motion.

“There’s no need to be so awkward. I’m not mad that you totally forgot my existence this morning…”

“That wasn’t one of my finest moments.” John looked directly at Kaidan, “It’s not every day I actually wake up next to someone I really like… It’s become habit for me to just move straight on.” Shepard could feel his face frowning, but that’s

“You’re going to have to say that again when I’m not so drugged up on pain meds, Shepard.” Kaidan studied the room, his eyes glancing at the clock. “It’s late.”

John stood, almost too quickly, “Should I get going?”

Kaidan lightly shook his head and moved to stand up. Shepard could see that his movements were slower than usual, so he held out his arm, which Kaidan latched on to like his life depended on it. Kaidan felt himself be guided through his own apartment, when he felt himself whisper, half expecting to hear no response, “Will you stay?”

The response did come, “Of course. Let’s get you to bed.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is pure angst, but I split it up from the next chapter so it's really short. I haven't edited this bit but the next chapter should be out ASAP.

The tower was cold. Some idiot had clearly turned the air conditioning on, despite the temperature outside being much colder than the week before. John decided that keeping his overcoat on, instead of taking it off at the door, was justified because of this. Luckily Garrus had forewarned him of the temperature crisis at work, but there was nothing Garrus could do to solve the battle going on inside the ace lawyer’s head. What was he going to do about Kaidan Alenko?

Shepard was tense. It was the second time he’d left Kaidan alone in bed without saying goodbye, but he didn’t know what else to do. He didn’t **_do_** relationships with work colleagues. Of course, that mentality was a lot harder to hold when he only admired Kaidan from afar, and watched his work with curiosity. Now, he was well acquainted with him, he’d kissed him, he knew his favourite drink, his favourite colour, his behavioural tells, and now even had an insight into his medical history. It was hard for John ‘Serial Shagger’ Shepard to swallow that he might actually have feelings for Kaidan that had little or nothing to do with lust. To him, branching out like that with someone else was dangerous, he risked inheriting every single fault that his potential partner carried. He risked opening up his world to even more pain. He had worked too hard, and gotten too far to lose everything on something as superficial as a relationship. He had every part of family that he needed in David Anderson. He could feel himself scowling at his own thought process, and when Garrus turned the corner into his office, he didn’t wipe it off of his face in time to prevent his best friend from noticing - not that Garrus said anything about it. It was just one more thing that John had shown that made it clear to his friend that he was off of his game. To Shepard, this case was too important, too _personal_ , to risk anything.

John felt his fingers hit his keyboard before he even thought too much about it, and after a couple of minutes, he had send an email to Kaidan’s inbox asking him to conduct the background casework alone, and to have it completed by the end of the week. For good measure, and in an attempt to soften the blow, he assigned him one of his most trusted junior associates to help with the reading. It meant that Kaidan would be busy with the less intricate parts of the case, and he’d also have no reason to make his way to John’s office until he was finished. When he looked back up from his screen, his expression was once again the stoic, neutral picture it usually was. Back down to business, to work on the case.

 

———

 

If Kaidan had been irritated by John Shepard blanking him in the morning for a second time, and was saddened when he walked past Jenkins’ empty desk, to find a hastily written “thank-you for being my friend” note on his own desk, then the email he picked up as he sat at his desk was the icing on the cake. How could it be such a terrible day at only 9am?! He fought his first instinct to march up to Shepard’s office and demand an explanation, he then fought the urge to reply to Shepard telling him to ‘Go fuck himself’, something that he had spat at his screen more than once since reading the email. He paced around his office, he shredded old pieces of paper, drank several cups of coffee, and threaded his hands into his hair all in an effort to calm down. Everything got even worse when he looked at the time in the top right corner of his screen, he noticed he had been quietly fuming for almost an hour. When he swiped every piece of paper off of his desk in a rage, he knew he had to get out of the building. Losing control at work was not something that he ever did, he wasn’t about to start now he was in the best job he ever had. He felt his feet drag him across his floor to the elevator, and down to the bar, his brain knowing that an ice cold whisky would be the first thing to cure his inconsolable fit of rage. He almost made it to the bar. Almost. Shepard and Garrus stepped out of the bar, just as he was about to reach for the handle.

If there was one thing that Kaidan had never been any good at, it was hiding his emotions. He could never hide them from his mother, his father, any of his school friends. So when Shepard’s eyes locked with his, it was only natural that Kaidan’s face would contort into an angry, spiteful snarl. He didn’t even register Garrus greeting him, as he abruptly stopped walking forward and crossed his arms in the process. The second call from Garrus was when he spun on his heel, beelining back towards the tower where he came from. He was going straight to Ashley Williams’ office. If anyone was going to have some cheap as shit alcohol in their office, it was her.

 

———

 

Shepard ignored Garrus’ pleas for an explanation, and he found himself sat in his office studying some of the more curious testimonies from former Geth employees. He had to examine which ones would be the most effective to the case. It was going to be hours of brain busting work, but he’d found his focus, and was just starting to make a dent when Kaidan barged into his office. He’d evidently gotten past the assistant that usually polices his office like a hawk. John swore at himself for thinking how great Kaidan’s body looked in the slim fit navy shirt he was wearing, because the man stood in his door was evidently on some kind of mission. He was also carrying, in the opposite hand to the papers he was holding, a whisky- and had clearly had a few more before that one.

“Shepard, I was looking over some details of the case that you asked me to do, and I was wondering if I could have your input on a thought I had?” Kaidan could feel the heat of the alcohol on his face, but didn’t stop himself. He probably couldn’t even if he wanted to.

Shepard hummed, “Sure, what do you have?”

Kaidan seemed to mull his next words over, looking at the ceiling as he did so, “So, have you ever considered the possibility that you might be a complete and utter fucking sociopath? With absolutely zero regard for anyone but yourself?”

Shepard tried to butt in, but Kaidan just shouted over him.

“Your apology for the night at your place means absolutely nothing to me if you’re going to shove grunt work on me to keep me at bay.” Kaidan fumed, pointing his papers at the object of his fury. “Oh. By the way, I’ve already fucking done your stupid casework. I did it in three hours. Because I’m not some bullshit rookie Associate.” He slammed the work on the glass table in between him and John. “Be straight with me **_Shepard_**.” Kaidan spat his colleagues name out like it was venom, because right now, that’s exactly what it felt like to him. He could feel tears pricking the sides of his eyes in the anger that had been severely exacerbated by his several gulps of cheap whisky.

Shepard too, had seen red. He decided to do the one thing he didn’t think he was capable of, and he let out all of the malice he had pent up inside. It was like he was talking to an enemy. “You’re not special Kaidan. I’ve fucked dozens of people like you. Eager, needy, willing. You’re all the same. I don’t want to be your boyfriend or whatever you think is going on here. I took pity on you because you collapsed onto your door.” Shepard picked up Kaidan’s papers, “Thank-you for the casework. But now, get the hell out of my office, and if you ever speak to me like that again, I’ll make sure your time at this firm is cut short just like Jenkins’ time was.”

There wasn’t even time for John to react when Kaidan surged forward and punched him square in the nose. There wasn’t even time for him to react by the time Kaidan had turned around, left his office, slamming his glass door and shattering it in the process. John Shepard gathered up some tissues and plugged his now-broken nose to stop it from bleeding on his suit, and stood over the shattered remains of his office door. It was the most deflated he’d ever felt in his life, and the little devil on his shoulder was reminding him, **_if that’s the punch that Kaidan packs, just wait until Ashley Williams gets her hands on you._** The angel on his other shoulder, was merely shaking his head. John Shepard had definitely fucked up this time.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part-2 of the mostly angst. Thankfully, it's starting to come to an end... for now. Happy New Year folks.

The work on the Geth case had heated up significantly by the time Kaidan and Shepard found themselves alone again, and several weeks had passed too. Alliance and Normandy had won several key battles in the courtroom, mostly down to Shepard’s expertise, but many of the more complex legal arguments were fleshed out by Garrus and Kaidan’s flair and attention to detail. They made a great team, at work at least. By now the case was the talk of the international legal bigwigs; every single legal firm in the world was looking towards this case for multiple reasons, but mainly because it had the potential to set legal precedents in Europe on the creation of AI. Shepard pretended not to notice how straight and rigid Kaidan’s back was as he sat across the room, evidently feeling incredibly awkward whilst he was scribbling notes onto his pad about the phone call that had just ended with Anderson. John couldn’t blame Kaidan for changing the way he acted around him after the things that he had said to him, or maybe it was the fact that Kaidan had broken John’s nose… and his door? Perhaps it was because the episode had potentially landed Kaidan in some trouble, which was not to be expected. If it had been any other lawyer he had punched, and for any other reason, there was only the slimmest chance that he’d still have a job. Anderson had given John the biggest dressing down of his career after finding out what happened. The lecture was still ticking over in his head even now, whilst he was trying to break one of Geth Industries key arguments.

“ _Listen here kid. I told you not to mess this thing up with Alenko and this case. It took you one day to try and get into his pants, and you know well enough that he’s not that kind of guy. Really John, if you couldn’t make it work without causing a mess, or even just being honest, then you should have just kept your distance, because you’re threatening this entire firm by playing with his feelings. I brought you up from nothing to compete in this firm because I believed in you, and every time you go against what I say there’s always consequences. You need to_ ** _fix_** **_this_** _, Shepard. Or else I’ll knock you out of this firm and onto your ass. Is that understood?_ ”

The truth was, Shepard had felt like a complete tool for messing around with Kaidan’s head, and that wasn’t just because he’d come out of it with a broken nose. He knew for a fact that his feelings for Kaidan weren’t just sexual. In fact, they were almost _exclusively_ romantic. He knew too, that his own weaknesses had caused this gigantic rift between them, and that although their working dynamic had appeared to have changed very little, Kaidan didn’t even look at Shepard anymore. It made him think back to the days where the starry-eyed lawyer, the golden boy of the associates, would stare at him from across the lobby and smile, and that he’d get to stare back. He missed when he could quietly review Kaidan’s work, and be silently impressed that there was someone of that legal capability coming up underneath him. He missed when he could look at Kaidan’s work file and see his badge ID photo on his screen, thinking how in another life Kaidan Alenko would have made it pretty good as a model of some kind. Now he had to wrap himself in his work, just to stop himself from kicking himself for being such a selfish dick.

There was a code for a personal argument in Normandy’s offices. “Professional disagreement”, was thrown around to prevent anybody from getting into trouble if they were caught discussing the events. Anderson had a personal rule that lawyers couldn’t work together as a team if they were gossiping amongst themselves, instead of doing their jobs. His and Kaidan’s ‘professional disagreement’ had become the talk of the firm, which was odd for Shepard, since he usually kept his professional and personal lives incredibly distant from each other - he only wished he had done that this time. The last few weeks had been difficult for Shepard, and he guessed they were probably even worse for Kaidan since he worked with the other associates too much. People were saying the worst things about Kaidan, things that suggested that he was only in the position he was, in the firm he loved so much, because he was intimate with John Shepard. It was the thing that made Shepard feel the most guilty about, because if there was one associate in the entire legal world of London that deserved to be working at Normandy International, being moulded into an expert lawyer by David Anderson himself, then it was Kaidan Alenko - his work on the Geth case had affirmed that.

One thing had made certain that Shepard wasn’t going to forget about all of the things that he’d ruined around Normandy - It was very clear that Ashley Williams had found out about the details of the fight, because all of a sudden, every single associate that would usually assist John on his casework had been reassigned, and John’s access to the associates had been restricted to the first years, who were so utterly useless that he had deigned to do all of his dirty work himself. What it had meant, was that he had practically moved into Normandy tower. He wore one of two suits every day, and used his emergency tie collection in his desk to switch it up so it wouldn’t be so noticeable. That was until he woke one day to find his other suit gone from his office, and his tie collection shredded in his with his paper waste. He found his computer systematically crashing, or breaking, at points where he was making headway in compiling evidence or working with a paralegal to keep the language of his written testimonies concise. He found that the air conditioning in his office, and his office alone, was always set to max, and the facilities department were always too ‘busy’ to fix something that to them was a ‘minor problem’.

Regardless of what he was willing to admit to anybody else, he had to try to make it up to Kaidan. Or at least, he had to try and bring them back to speaking terms. Now was probably the last opportunity he was going to get for another week, and he felt his body acting before his brain could catch up. He cleared his throat, and Kaidan looked up and raised an eyebrow. _Now or never_ , John thought to himself.

“Can we talk? We’re not going to be a very good team if you can’t look at me.” Shepard knew that this probably wasn’t the best opener, but he didn’t expect Kaidan’s reaction.

Kaidan slammed his pad shut, shoved it in his briefcase, before standing and opening the door. “Go fuck yourself John.” He then took off down the hall, without looking back or saying another word.

Shepard had less than a second to pick his jaw off of the floor, before he realised he had to go after Kaidan, who was now in an elevator, rolling his eyes at the sight of Shepard coming towards him. John saw Kaidan try to get the doors to close before he reached them, with no luck. The audible grow; that Alenko made when he realised he was going to have to share this lift hit Shepard a lot harder than he expected. Kaidan really did hate him right now, which was the direct opposite of what he wanted. When the doors closed, John’s body acted before his brain caught up with him as he reached out and slammed the emergency alarm button, grinding the whole lift to a halt.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Was all John heard behind him, but when he turned around, Kaidan’s face looked a little too close to the rage he held just before he got his nose broken.

John breathed out, hoping to keep himself composed, almost like he would when he was about to start in court. “I had to talk to you, and you didn’t seem like you were going to let that happen, I made my own time.”

“Do you even know how fucking long it takes for facilities to start these elevators again once someone presses that button?! We could be here all afternoon!” Kaidan closed his eyes, seemingly to calm himself down. “I don’t want to talk to you. You had weeks to apologise to me. Just let me get on with my job maybe?”

“Kaidan, you broke my goddamn nose, I didn’t really feel like talking to **_you_** either.” Shepard stated. It made a point in his head, but when Kaidan simply raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms, he knew it wasn’t going to cut it. Instead of saying something clever, he just opted for “I really don’t know where to start.”

“Jesus. So I’m stuck in this four foot square box because you thought that you’d get me in a tiny space and all would be forgiven?”

“I don’t think that Kaidan, don’t talk to me like I’m stupid.”

“Right now, you’re being pretty damn stupid **_John_**.” Kaidan almost spat pronouncing Shepard’s first name.

“The last thing I wanted was to hurt you, Kaidan. You have to believe me.”

“How can I believe a single word that you say when you gave Ashley the whole spiel about not wanting to hurt my feelings? You’ve built quite a successful career in bluffing and lying your way out of cases. How can I ever believe you? Anything you ever say to me, I can never trust you.” Kaidan swore into his fist, “You wanna know the real reason I punched you in the face?” When Shepard didn’t respond, Kaidan continued anyway, “I hit you because I lost control, yes, but it lost it because I could tell that you were lying. John, I’m not blind, you have- **_had_** feelings for me and it was as plain as day to see. Nobody looks after someone they want to just screw after a particularly nasty migraine. Nobody regrets leaving someone alone in bed on the day they first meet. You felt something for me, and I feel something for you. You tried to cut me out and keep me busy like I was an object… or a pet. But since that’s all in the past, the only thing that makes me so mad that I can’t stop ranting, is that it took you weeks to try to even speak to me, and now I’m stuck in a fucking elevator with you because you weren’t man enough to admit that you were wrong when I first stormed into your goddamn office!” 

Shepard just stared at the red-faced, slightly-out-of-breath Kaidan then. He knew he couldn’t lie this way out of this one even if he tried. He could feel the frown start to spread across his usually cool face, and he couldn’t even find himself the energy to be angry at anyone but himself. When he did speak, he was quiet, like a child that had just been told off. “Do you know how many lawyers or politicians or businessmen in this city have toyed with my feelings because they wanted to get somewhere? Do you know how many people I tried to let in, only to just realise they wanted all of the status, and none of the emotion? Feelings are a vulnerability I never afforded to myself because people will just use me.” Shepard sighed then, “Deep down, I knew you weren’t like that. But I didn’t care at the time. I’d learned not to.”

“If you’d said that to me a week ago, this conversation could have ended up with a cliché kiss and make up. But you waited, and now… now I don’t know if I can ever trust you again.” Almost on cue, the alarm button on the elevator clicked out, and the door opened. “Thank god for that.” Standing there was one of the facilities workers, and Garrus. Wasting no time, Kaidan swiftly pushed past them both, and walked through the doors to go down the stairs; leaving John Shepard standing there, wondering if he could get any lower than the point he was at right now.

 

———

 

Garrus knew Shepard pretty well. He’d only once seen himself as distant as he was now, and that was when he lost his first big case. Vakarian wasn’t an idiot, he knew exactly the source of this groaney, lazy, mopey John Shepard that he didn’t like one bit; but he also knew that John was in this mood because of himself, and only Shepard would be able to claw himself out of it. With all of that being said, because both of Normandy’s top court lawyers were essentially benched until their personal lives either realigned, or they were replaced by people more capable. Garrus knew that this put their case against Geth Industries at risk, and that was something that he would not allow.

That was something Garrus always prided himself on. Being able to detach himself from the emotional aspects of having friends in the office, and having to do his job. He knew that if he needed new friends, a charismatic, rich, handsome guy like himself could easily find some. A job in top London law firms however, was not easy to come by. Not when you’re so closely tied to Normandy International’s more… controversial victories. Regardless, he had already requested a meeting with Anderson, been to that meeting, and gotten permission to act on this ‘John Shepard Situation’ by the time Garrus found himself tapping on Shepard’s new, thankfully unshattered door. Garrus mused that Shepard must have refrained from doing any more immensely stupid things to Kaidan. Interestingly, the door was missing John’s title as a Partner in the firm, as if that status was now in doubt, not that he didn’t deserve it. When Shepard looked up, Garrus’ game face was solidly on, which wasn’t a detail that Shepard himself could miss.

“Shepard. I’ve brought in some backup for the Geth case. We need to seal it, and you’re not doing it quick enough. She’s good, and I think you’ll like her.”

“I’m a little bit tied up with someone else right now to be thinking about a new girlfriend, Garrus.” John joked.

Garrus rolled his eyes, allowing his stony facade to fall for a moment before he stared Shepard down, “Oh I’m not joking Shepard. Anderson’s hired her especially for this case. Like I said, I think you’ll like her, but she’s not as pretty as Alenko is.” When Shepard went to interrupt, Garrus continued to speak over him, “Her name’s Liara T’Soni, she used to be Asari Network’s chief legal adviser. She’s had plenty of run-ins with Geth Industries before, and even better, she believes that her mother has connections to the case. She’s just dying to prove herself, so I gave her the chance… Or, I asked Anderson to give her the chance.”

Shepard frowned, “Why?”

“Because you’re putting this case at risk right now. You’re not operating at 100%. The way you’re acting is just like after you lost the Akuze environmental case, and you still see Kaidan every day when he walks in with his pansy latte with the dumb foam art.” When John’s jaw flinched, Garrus brushed the topic aside, “No offence Shepard, but you need to get it together. But until you do, she’s there to help. She starts next Monday.”

“I’ve been in contact with some people too. I’m working on getting new material. I thought we didn’t go over each other?”

“You left me no choice.” Garrus scoffed. “Sort things out with Alenko first. There’s no more court for a few weeks unless there’s a new development… But who’s your source? I thought you excluded all possible avenues of attack?”

“That’s for me to know Garrus, and for you to eventually uncover and chastise me for. Now if there isn’t anything else?”

“Just one thing, Shepard…” Garrus waited for John’s eyebrow to raise, “Quit being a pussy and tell Alenko what he means to you already, and what you want. Black and white. Guys love that kinda stuff, it’s easier.”

John frowned and gritted his teeth, “Get out of my office.”

“Was already going.”

“Do it faster.” He threw a pen in Garrus’ general direction as he looked back down at his screen, (finally) getting back to work.

“Bite me.” Garrus smiled as he shut Shepard’s door. At least that interaction had gone better than he had expected.

 

———

 

It turned out that when Monday came around, John Shepard wasn’t the only person who got on well with Liara T’Soni. In mere hours, her and Kaidan were getting on like a house on fire. Although, when Shepard thought about it, everyone got on well with Kaidan. He knew the familiar pang in his stomach was from the jealousy he had against anyone who made Alenko laugh like that, especially because whenever he’d lock eyes with him, Kaidan’s face would straighten into a almost-scowl, and his eyes would dart away. The four of them had just finished a briefing that Anderson, but both he and Kaidan had been asked to stay behind, whilst Garrus and Liara headed home for the evening. Anderson was merely interested in how the two of them were working together on building the court cases that would, with any luck, protect Alliance Systems for the foreseeable future, it was a conversation where Kaidan spoke very little, and John spoke an awful lot. It didn’t take long before Anderson was dismissing them, and asking if there was anything else to discuss. When Kaidan cleared his throat and nodded, Shepard’s stomach dropped through the floor.

“Alliance Systems have offered me a job as their Head of Legal.”

“What?” Shepard felt the word fall out of his mouth before he even registered what it would mean if Kaidan left. Shepard knew what Normandy International meant to Alenko, and it felt like a kick in the gut that he would consider leaving.

“I haven’t given them an answer but, I just wanted to give you both a heads-up. I haven’t exactly been the best lawyer these past few weeks. I figured maybe it’s time to move on… as my present personal and professional state seems to suggest.”

John found himself at a loss for words. He was on the edge of losing Kaidan to his client, and that made him angry. So angry, that he found words falling from his mouth again, before he even thought about them, “No. Don’t leave me.”


End file.
